Thursday, March 17, 2016

Life at 30!!!


The Indian stereotypical society planned my goal plan the day I was born. Of course, all were sad. I broke the stereotype long before my mom went in to labor. I was born at 5 am and before the sun could really shine, I was the talk of the hospital. We all know, how much the old ladies, (and some young ones, and some gents) love male children. If you ask me, 1986 was a year of crisis. Female children were popping out every other second, and Indians were worried as to who would finally cremate them - "meri aag ko chita kaun dega"? The night of October 10th, saw some light, when five boys were born in a span of 6 hours, along with this tiny female whom nobody cared. So proud - I am her!!! Early morning when my father heard about the miracle birth of 5 male children, he wished to have one (or at least steal one). That morning, he left the hospital without even looking at the face of his first newborn. Eventually, he realized, his daughter was no less than a son, and breaking the stereotype was her birth right!!!

To all my friends, who are not Indians, let me brief you about the plan created by this wonderful society (especially girls) -

18 years - 12th grade
22 years - Engineering or Medical
23 years - Marriage
23 years 9 months - first child
25 years 3 months - second child
28 years - kids go to school, women start working (after sacrificing 6 years)
30 years - House (of course bought by the husband!!! How can we, women???)
till 50 years - kids education, kids work, kids marriage, satisfy husband (primary goal!!!)
50 years 9 months - first grandchild
58 years - retirement
58 years 1 day - live with the children
60 years - hospitals
70 years - long wait till death takes us away and puts us out of our misery!!!

When I reached the 18 milestone, I pledged to create havoc and I am successful so far.

The misery of life is, when you are 25 years old, everybody around you (girls) are married. If your old friend calls you, then you know, by her giggles, that she is getting married to a bald guy with lots of money. Weren't you the hottie in the school???

The misery doesn't stop there. When you reach the 30 milestone, everybody around you is pregnant or already a parent. This is so extreme that you start wondering, what wrong am I am doing in my life? When you are feeling pathetic, people become sympathetic towards you.

"I am sorry. How come you still don't have a child? It's been 3 years of marriage"

Like, I need you to remind me!!!!

And some start scaring you,

"How come you still don't have a child? Don't you know the after effects? Don't you know 30 is the mark, if you cross it, it's dangerous?"

Ah, now the doctor is speaking!!! Din't you fail in 12th grade, hence got married early???

And some start making conclusions,

"You women these days, always on pills!!!"

Yeah, I am on pills for vitamin D, B 12, Iron. Sorry to disappoint you, it's not what you are thinking

And if it's not the pills, you have some problem,

"Why don't you consult a doctor? or tarot card reader? or a magician? Who knows he might bring a baby out of your womb!!!"

Can I slap you woman???

Amid all these my-nose-is-always-in-your-business kind of people, there are some genuinely concerned people. But, by the end after tackling all these nonsense, it's natural to explode!!!

Why is the timeline? Why can't we have a woman who wants to get married late, have kids late and focus on something different. Maybe she just wants to enjoy her life, maybe she wants to grow professionally, maybe she is not ready for responsibilities.That reminds me about the golden line, "You are never ready, you just need to take the plunge." I will take your advice, when I join swimming classes.

Can we for once break the stereotypes, and let people be??? A grown up, educated woman will definitely know what's best for her, and ultimately it's her life and she can do what pleases her. isn't it??

If you think this is torture, stop there, and ask a woman who CHOOSES not to have kids, ever!!!
If my lovely grandma was alive, she would definitely say, "that witch will rot in hell!!!"

Somebody save the planet!!!

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