Friday, November 6, 2015

I am a feminist!!! Are you???

I am not a feminist because I support women, I am not a feminist because I talk about injustice towards women. I am a feminist because I believe men and women are equal. Having said that, I also believe, women can do all the things what men can do; not referring to flashing chests in public (that's what at least bollywood taught us so far). A feminist believes in equal work opportunities, equal rights, equal pay then I wonder why there is an extra dose of politeness and sensitivity towards women? Why can't men and women be treated equal in all regards? Why is it that a man proposes first? Why is it that a man holds the door for a woman? Why is it considered "good manners"? Is it because in the past we termed it "good manners" just to make women feel comfortable in a male dominated society? Is it because men think women are weak and need helping hands at every step? Or is it because men truly believe women are fragile and require a special treatment? Is it because men believe women are sensitive and hence, superior? Why? Why are women treated differently and not like any other guy? Is there a low expectation or a very high one?


Recently, my husband called me a "Super woman" because I was trying to manage certain things on my own, which for whatever reasons my darling husband thought I won't be able to. I felt happy, proud and after two minutes, I felt sad. This is the true image which most men carry about women. They think we are physically weak and need support and the fact is we take advantage of this.

Being polite is so intricately woven in to the system, that men feel the urge to open the door for women, pull the chair, pay hotel bills and the list goes on. Deep inside my heart, I hear a loud scream, "stop this nonsense". I don't need a man to hold my hand to cross the road. I can pull my chair, open my door and I don't mind saying "let's go dutch tonight". Whenever me and my husband go shopping, I feel equally responsible for the goods and I help him unload it and make it a point to lend my hand at every step. This is what feminism truly is.


If you see a man sitting in the bus, the first thought that hits our mind is, "How rude!!! Can't he get up and offer seat to the woman standing next to him?". But, so far we have never thought that the man sitting might be physically weak and tired compared to the woman. The whole agenda of feminism is about equality, right. If we are equal, why can't we stand? Are we implying that we are physically weak?


In the beginning, it was about how men and women were not equal and how men overpowered women. Then came a phase of equality but I don't know when women started acting superior to men. If we are truly feminist then the idea is about equality. Nobody is superior. You (my dear ladies) don't need extra pair of hands for everything. We don't want "the princess" treatment. We asked for equality and we should be extremely happy if it stops at that.

"Madam ko darwaza kholo"

"Madam ko pehle chadne do"

"Arrey madam ji, aap kyo? hum luggage utha lenge"

"Darling, when I am there why do you need to take this trouble?"

"You are the princess of my heart. I will treat you like a delicate flower" (faint!!!)


I don't want men to be polite with me or treat me like a delicate flower!!! I am a strong, independent and level headed woman, who asks nothing more than respect and equal treatment in all domains. As much as I want my husband to help me in the kitchen, I want to help him when he is fixing IKEA furniture.

I have no qualms if a man opens the car door for a woman but all that I am saying is, let her do the same for him without making it an "eye popping out of the socket" scenario for others. Let us feel equal in every regard, let us be equal, because we are!!!

All the images are downloaded from google via different sources.