In my childhood, after the death of my mother people often asked me, "Don't you remember your mother?", and I had no clue how I was supposed to answer them. The more they asked me this question, the more aloof I became. I just wanted the years to pass, so they won't ask me this question. But now I know, years may pass, but society's questioning attitude will never change. The moment I was 22 years old, the world surrounding me quickly adapted a new approach to deal with me. The people who often enquired about my mother's memories, education, marks and future aspirations suddenly had a different set of questions.They weren't interested in my marks or my ambitions, they didn't appreciate my high spirit or approach to life, they didn't even observe what kind of a person I had grown in to. After I crossed that milestone of 22, and since then, people have asked me very weird and offensive questions. They are undoubtedly very annoying and humiliating and that's why I thought of writing all of them together and posting it here. So, the next time if somebody asks me any of these questions, I will share the link to this post!!!!
1. It all started with "when are you getting married?".
The sooner you finish your studies, the sooner you get this obvious question. In my case, as I wanted to pursue my higher studies, my parents discarded the idea of marriage and somehow shut the mouth of this I-am-interested-in-your-business society.
But once again, they started pelting these questions at us the moment I finished my post graduation. My parents convinced everyone that it is my dream to work after studies. Hence, I once again got a time window of two years. But after two years, everyone including my parents started pressurizing me for marriage.
Submitting to their demands and also, to avoid the questions I got married thinking the "Kaun Banega crorepati" series would end. Sadly, it didn't!!!
2. After marriage due to visa issues, I was stuck in India for a long time. I kept shuttling between my parent's house and my in law's house. So, whenever I would go to my parent's house people would assume not all is well in my nest. They would ask indirect questions, trying hard to make sense out of it.
"So, why are you not going to saudi?"
"How long it will take?"
"But my friend got the visa in just two months. Why are they delaying yours?" - Dude, Saudi embassy in India just want to make my life miserable, that's why!!!
and the most ridiculous of all - "How come your husband is able to travel leaving you behind in your parent's house?"
My inner soul (with lips sealed) kept on screaming loud, "It's my life. So, don't poke your filthy nose into it".
3. The same people, once who were least bothered about my career, job and aspirations, got suddenly interested in my professional life. Due to circumstances, I couldn't work after marriage and even after moving to Saudi, I am unable to get in to a job. Hence, I have to face one more set of firing bullets with a pinch of "unnecessary gyan" and sarcasm.
"Why are you not working in Jeddah? I have heard there is quite a demand for speech therapists in Saudi"
"Why did your dad spend so much on your studies? So that you can sit at home?"
"Oh, your husband must be earning well then!!!!!"
"Why don't you try some other job?"
People should first of all stop interfering in others' lives and it's high time they realize I am a smart, educated, sensible woman. I won't simply sit at home doing nothing if I had any other preferable option.
4. It's just been four months since I shifted to Saudi Arabia and people are already asking me when am I travelling back to India!!!
I understand the concern of family members who genuinely miss us. But that's not all, there are many other people who keep asking me and even my parents when I am planning to shift back to India.
They even make statements like,
"It is Saudi Arabia. Don't stay there for long. You don't know how that country is!!!" - I wonder how do they have so much knowledge about this country sitting in India, having never travelled abroad.
"People who stay outside India tend to never come back." - Firstly, there are many people who come back and secondly, you don't know me and most importantly, why do you care?
"You are the only child. If you stay away who will look after your parents?" (with a sarcastic pitch) - I love my parents and I also know my responsibilities. Plus, if you care for my parents so much, why don't you take them to your house?
5. Ah, this is my favourite part. My entire family circle and people surrounding them are constantly peeking inside my uterus now. First you get married, then have your first child and after that second child. By any chance if you break this cycle or delay, then people will start asking questions.
"Do you at least have the desire of becoming a mother?"
"If it's not now, then when?"
"What are your plans? Any good news?"
"What do you mean by right time? There is nothing like that!!!"
"You know you are becoming old right?"
So, basically there is nothing called "purely personal matter". Everybody wants to know everything and suggest like they have the ultimate knowledge.
Come on people, it is high time you stop asking questions and let people be. I understand why parents ask these questions but why the whole society (in fact they are least bothered about my happiness) wants to know about my life? I don't know if they get any kind of pleasure by doing so. But spare me!!!
I am sure you all must have gone through something similar. Let me know what questions irritate you the most.
*** All the images are downloaded from different sources via google.