Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Yeah! He is a consultant!!!

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These are my few realizations about supply chain consultants. Let me know if it applies to all the consultants across globe or is my husband really unique........

1. Sleep is fine tuned in such a way that their body can function with minimum three hours of sleep and all the pending hours gets accumulated which can be compensated by sleeping for 16 to 17 hours at a stretch.

2. They can literally sleep anywhere. Due to their frequent travels and odd working hours, their body gets adjusted to every sleeping environment. Be it airport, airplane, bus, cab, moving or at halt. Nothing disturbs them!!! They sleep like a new born child and when they wake up their system is rebooted and fresh for some more work!!!

3. Talking about work, they can just switch on their laptop (god knows what are in those excel files) amid a huge crowd and forget the outer world and focus like never before. Even if a bomb goes off, trust me, they wouldn't know!!!

4. If work is their first wife, then airplane/airport is their first house. They travel so frequently that they end up spending more time travelling than being at home. Of course rest of the hours are spent at office or on site!!!

5. Everybody has a paunch. Considering the tasty, oily food being served at every “on site” locations and having absolutely no time for workouts, as per tradition, they ought to gain few kilos. If your husband still doesn't have one, don’t panic he will get there soon!!!

6. Damn it!!! Their meetings never end. When they are back home, they switch on their laptops and utilize the one facility which I happen to detest lately. Skype. They have meetings, educational sessions, then some more meetings, conference calls and goes on…

7. They are always late. Late to the airports (missing flight is like a child’s play), late to the meetings, always late to home and late at everything. Though I still don’t see a connection between being a consultant and being late, I strongly believe this as one of the side effects.

8. They are smart and strategic. Their processing speed is high and brain is constantly functioning. So, when you are talking to them they smile and nod, because deep inside their hemispheres some excel files would be open, some drawings sprawled, some numbers being calculated, some problems being solved. Whatever you speak goes above their head if the template doesn't match!!!

9. Tension is something which stays miles away from them. May be being subjected to extreme pressure at work every day they are immune to it now. They cater to all their problems like it’s not a big thing and when they can’t resolve the issues they just laugh at it!!!

10. And this is the final banging one. If they get a good, interesting, challenging project they forget everything and everyone around. They can humanly stay away from family, friends and enjoy life just by that pleasure they get through work. Any new project which questions their capacity intrigues them to the core (I guess this is the “kick” Salman spoke about) till they screw it up and laugh and reset the project and sigh. Now when he says project is in a total mess, I know I don’t need to be tensed as it is always in a mess.

...........But if it is unique to him, then Mr.husband I am proud of you and your passion towards work!!! I know the distance is killing but hope this made you smile like it did for me!!!