MY NEW NEIGHBOR!!!

When I first heard the knock on my door, I ignored as nobody ever knocks apart from my husband. But when the knocks got louder I ran to the door and peeped through the eye hole. I saw a young girl and boy standing with a tray in hand which was filled with bowls covered in silver foils.  I hurriedly opened the door with a welcoming smile on my face. Young girl told me her mother had sent us some home cooked food. Yes, they are my new neighbors who live just across my house in Jeddah. Being a vegetarian, I wanted to be sure about the food being offered. So once again, I knocked their door only to find a beautiful fair and lean woman standing with an even broader smile. Well, when the offered chicken samosas were taken back from the tray it consisted of some sweets, dahi wada and yummy chole. It smelled heavenly. Having extreme love towards my husband and he having extreme love towards food I decided to keep the food till my husband’s arrival. Later that evening when I told my mother over a call about this incident, she warned me not to eat the food. Because they are not only Muslims but also, wait for it, Pakistanis.

Since our childhood, we have learnt and loved to hate Pakistan and Pakistanis.  India Pakistan cricket match has always been bigger than a war by itself. We burnt crackers when India won and burnt dummy cricketers when India lost. So much rage has been flowing in our blood since ages. If England plays against Pakistan, we support England, the country which had ruled and humiliated us for centuries. But no matter what we won’t lift our hands to support Pakistan. So here comes the golden question, why? Why there is no brotherly feeling towards our own neighboring country? Why is this hatred, anger and detest? Is it because most of the terrorists are from Pakistan? Or do we believe every Pakistani is a terrorist or a traitor? Is it because we believe every Pakistani hates us? Or is it because an unavoidable and insatiable anger has passed on to us from our elders who saw a different India during partition? Is it because people were killed during partition or because Hindus were forced to convert or leave the country? I do agree hate all the past events and the present terrorist activities. But that doesn't mean every Pakistani is a terrorist or everyone hates us. Why do we presume certain things and create a hard shell around us to eventually suffocate? If we hoist Pakistan’s flag in India it leads to bloodshed and we start hunching our moral values killing hundreds and thousands of innocent people. I agree it is not wise to hoist another nation’s flag in India. But tell me, would the bloodshed still see so many carcasses if we hoist the flag of Germany or the United States of America? No. I am sure it won’t.

In the recent movie “Total Siyappa” the entire plot revolves around Indian-Pakistani relationship. How they loathe Pakistanis and how frequently fight with their Pakistani neighbors. But at the end of the movie, they realize that after all we all inhale the same air and we all are just humans. Since our initial days, we start preaching children about healthy relationships, good friendships, and good manners. But we forget them the moment they want to get in to an inter caste marriage or have a friend who belongs to lower caste or eat food in Muslim’s house or support a Pakistan team during a cricket match. The funny part is the deadly Ebola also sees no difference. It doesn't spare you because you are a Brahmin or Indian or white or Christian or Hindu or Muslim. Being an invisible microorganism when it doesn't differentiate why should we differentiate and kill people? Can’t you see viruses are doing their job promptly that we don’t need to take care of their job anymore? Can’t we seriously shake hands and forget all the enmity? I know the final answer, “we are ready but do you think these Pakistanis will ever be ready. Their PM might visit India and talk sweetly but I know they are plotting behind us since very long.” Yeah, we are all ISI agents and we normally know everything!!!! I am not saying we should support every wrong activity such as war, terrorism by Pakistan. I am only saying we should not hate people because they are from Pakistan.

My new neighbor is a sweet, dignified, gentle and a very good person at heart. Can I ignore all this good positive points and hate her because she is from Pakistan? Can I not eat those deliciously cooked food because she is a Muslim? Can I not visit their house because they pray to a different god? We see no difference. Birth to a new friendship has already been given. And it is growing fast without any worries of war or hatred or terrorism. Friendship between a Hindu and a Muslim!!! Friendship between an Indian and Pakistani!!! In fact she advises me to take cabs belonging to Indians, Pakistanis or Bangladeshis as they are much safer. Imagine I hire a cab driven by a Pakistani because I believe he will cause me no harm and protect me, irrespective of all odds.

Let people fight how much they want over caste, religion, borders but I am leading a happy life by getting in to an inter caste marriage living in a country filled with orthodox Muslims having a Pakistani friend. A friend who first lent her hand for friendship. If she had not sent food the first time, I would hardly have spoken to her and would have lost the chance of meeting such a lovely lady. 

But the best part is I am still a vegetarian, I am very proud of being an Indian and read a lot about Hindu religion appreciating every bit of it. To accept people how they are, it is not necessary for us to change or after we accept them it is not they influence us to change. All are myths created to keep people away from their own kind!!!

To conclude, I say wash your hands and let them mingle with anybody they want!!!

Many firsts before the FIRST WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!!!

Happy anniversary to me (us)!!! I don’t know somehow my neurons get highly excited about all the special days (which is exactly opposite with my husband) in my life. So yes, I am excited, happy and exuberant. But sadly today is the last post of my three day anniversary blog marathon (I have to start thinking about other topics now).

In today’s post I want to write about all the firsts in my life that I have done after marriage. This quick recap of one year makes me feel so special and loved and definitely, makes me realize how wonderfully we have spent the last one year. Like they say “It is not the years in your life but the life in your years that actually count”. So, may be it is just one year of my marriage with Raghu but somehow it feels, as if I have been living this life forever. I have experienced so many beautiful and unique things in this one year. So here goes the list of what I did from last monsoon….

1.  We both are ardent animal lovers and hence, we always skip the idea of taking an animal ride. But for the first time I went on an Elephant ride in Munnar and through out the ride we kept on screaming and talking to Lakshmi (our Elephant’s name and even after one year I remember her). We even fed her some fruits at the end. By the end of the ride, my husband was already feeling connected to her and the good bye was very painful.

2. Being born in coastal Karnataka, we both are very much exposed to the rich cultural heritage of the land. In Thekkady we got an amazing experience watching Kalaripattu and Kathakalli (Art of Kerala). I must add, we were taken to a different zone altogether.

3. Being animal lovers, we opted for a Jungle Safari through a river flowing amid the forest in Thekkady. Growling like tigers and wanting to see them, we finally satisfied our optic nerves by Deer and rare birds (I want to believe they were rare).

4.  I have very strong water phobia. Yet, taking a ride on the Alleppey water boat was worth the time. But the best part was seeing sun set and sleeping on the floating water. Trust me, I didn't get good night sleep. Visions from titanic were haunting me!!!!

5. Our next trip was to a resort in Byndoor, Sai vishram. Sai Vishram is located just next to the sea shore. Being a private resort, Sai Vishram offered us a range of water sports - ice berg, Jet Ski, Kayaki but the best part was we got to see dolphins in the sea jumping around happily (couldn't capture the moment as camera was not allowed). I can’t explain the joy we felt. It was indeed one of the best moments of my life. And like Life of Pi movie, fishes started flying (as the fishermen were trying to catch them) and some even ended up in our boats. We even got to blow some hot air balloons (once again, first in my life).

6. My wish of spending a night in a tree house was fulfilled in Chikamagalur. Early morning when dawn fell upon us, birds were chirping and when I opened my eyes, the entire forest was submerged in fog. Slowly drop by drop veil was lifted and the early morning sight made me feel nature is a magic in itself (and my husband was snoring loudly only to wake up late, missing out everything!!!)

7. I had been to Madikeri many times in the past but every time, I missed the Tibetian colony and the Golden temple. Finally, I got an opportunity to visit the colony and the golden temple. I felt as if I was not in India. Buddhist priests were all around the place and some beautiful religious songs were heard in the back ground. So serene and so peaceful!!! If you guys visit Madikeri, do not miss on this!!!

8. After this, came the experience of a life time. My first flight!!! Well now after travelling so many times it doesn't feel any special but my first flight was breathtakingly amazing. Especially, the high speed takeoff and landing.  I ate everything offered to me on the flight in spite of not being hungry (just to taste the food) and enjoyed the views through my window. I kept clicking pictures and jumped in joy like a small kid!!!!

9. Our next trip destination was the freezing Manali (yeah in the month of January) and undoubtedly Manali had a lot to offer. My first time snow experience (I was not ready to leave the snow and finally, I caught severe fever), my first paragliding experience (my husband was extremely scared and he told me often to find a new husband after paragliding), my first skiing experience (people were falling like crazy but somehow we survived the fall) and my first crane experience (view through the crane was simply superb). And how can I forget the traditional Himachal costume!!! So three words for Manali trip - Awesome, Awesome and Awesome!!!

10.  In Kulu, we went for River rafting. I was really scared before the rafting but the flow of water was not as fast as expected. Water was extremely cold and I don't know if river rafting only was my first experience or a frozen feet as well. So after 6 kms of river rafting our feet were completely frozen and we couldn't walk for a while. Yet, when my husband was shivering in cold I was screaming in joy. We even had to jump (with frozen feet) on the raft to get through some rocks. Simply, amazing!!! 

11. When I am talking about all the firsts, how can I leave out my first Burkha experience? I don’t know somehow I didn't feel offended but nice. I kept forwarding my Burkha cladded photo to everyone. 

12. After we shifted to Jeddah, all my firsts were taken a back seat and cooking and feeding my husband became my priority. But this time when we had gone back to India, I got a chance to sing with background music that too along with my husband (icing on the cake). I felt like a super star. I sang badly and I don’t care but how many people actually get a chance to sing in front of a crowd that too with live background music??

So here goes the list of everything that I have done for the first time in my life. I feel elated to share these moments with my husband and am glad, that I got to experience everything because of him. I hope to experience many more firsts in the coming years and post it every year. After all what is life without any fun in it? Right??? These might not sound great for people who climb Mount Everest but for me, these tiny moments complete my life and complete and compliment me as a human being and as a wife!!!!

My five best realizations about MARRIAGE!!!

We got married exactly an year ago. Since my childhood I detested getting married, for reasons best known to me. I thought a wife is more like a slave who gets lost in the ceremony of marriage. But how wrong I was !!! After my marriage with Raghu I realized, marriage is not about husband and wife, it is about companionship; about two friends leading a happy life till the end without any compromises, rules or boundaries. Just pure love asking nothing in return!!! So does a fairy tale romance come real? Yes, it definitely does as long as you believe in it. We took some drastic steps to get married to each other, may be that emptiness brought us close. Today so many people get inspired by us and are ready to get in to a love marriage against all odds; I ask them to re-think their decision. Every love marriage need not be successful but it is the love in the marriage that binds any marriage together. 

So what really happens after marriage? Many people might have their own opinion, some might even argue saying it is too early for me to define the institution of marriage but let me tell you my best five realizations about marriage:

1. When my husband initially told (some two years back) that we should never compromise in a relationship I was shocked to say the least. This is what is taught to us right from our birth, to compromise and to give up and to treat our husband like a god himself. When my entire thought process was questioned, I was forced to question it myself. He doesn't sleep early because I do or I don’t stop eating mushrooms because he doesn't like it. We don’t have to give up on our choices to make the other person feel comfortable. And also, my husband doesn't believe in implying rules on my life. He is a husband, not a dictator after all. And don't have unrealistic expectations from your spouse which would push them in to compromising. If it had not been for my husband, I would surely be compromising and sulking with some other guy now. Thank god!!!

2. If marriage is about love then it is also about fights. I know fights are common in every household but every time a fight begins, a percentage of hope slowly starts evaporating making us lose confidence in our marriage or at least this is exactly what I felt. We both are very egoistic and never gave up and like my husband says we still haven’t mastered the art of “agree to disagree”. So a small argument leads to a big fight and finally we end being angry with each other for five minutes to one day (depends on intensity of the fight). But ultimately we give up. Nobody says sorry or nobody is proved wrong or nobody is bent in front of the other. We just let the issue pass by and respect each others preferences. By fighting we vent out the anger in us (there by avoiding a volcanic rupture) and also by letting the issue pass on, we are back to normal. If you ask me, fights are as important as love in a relationship.

3.  Marriage can't only be about companionship. If you want to be in a successful marriage then the flavour of true love is a must. Love everything about the person be it good, bad or worse. I used to hate Raghu snoring in the night but now without his snores I don’t get sound sleep (He never agrees that he snores!!!). My dad once told me, when you are in love even the ugliest man can look the smartest (not that Raghu is ugly). Yes, it is the power of love that gives us the courage and will, to let go all the negatives and concentrate only on the positives. It also makes us believe that the person we are married to, is truly our soul mate.

4. I have often seen in Bollywood movies that hero gets extremely jealous when heroine talks to other men. This is what happens in real life as well and we tag this extreme possessiveness along with real love. We start believing that true love can’t happen without extreme possessiveness. I have started to believe that we need space only for trust in a relationship. So what if your husband talks to another woman, the ultimate fact is he is in love with you. So, we should chuck the concept of being extremely possessive, doubting on spouses and spoiling a beautiful marriage. Trust me, love with trust is the most beautiful thing on earth!!!

5. Marriage is also about having fun and giving enough space. Once married it is not necessary that we start saving up for old age and compromise on our present day life. My mom often complains that we are not serious in life and we should start behaving like adults. But why? Why can’t we still watch every Friday releases or take frequent trips? Why can’t we just pack our bags and leave for a vacation or dine outside? Why can’t we sleep late playing cards or scrabble or dance like crazy people on Telugu dance numbers? There is no rule for married life. Nobody has written "a code book" for the right conduct after marriage. After marriage it is not mandatory to have fun only with your spouse. Hang out with your friends, live every bit of your life. I believe as long as there is fun in a marriage, married life will always move smoothly. Even after being in Saudi (where there are n number of restrictions on women) life is still very much alive and crazy going. That excitement in life is something should never fade off, say even after sixty years.

Well, these are my five best realizations about marriage in the last one year of my married life. But sadly everybody compares marriage to a prison sentence. As if once we are married we are stuck forever in a dungy cell. This is not true. Marriage is as beautiful as a new born child. If we show it the right direction, it can only lead us toward a good future. And trust me, this applies to both genders. Days are gone when the husband bullied the wife or wife irritated the husband. Some how when I look at the young married couples, I feel this is an era only of love!!!I

P.S: All photos are downloaded through various sources via google !!!

How I met my better (best) half !!!!

Time and tide waits for none!!! I really can’t believe in two days it is our first wedding anniversary. I was draped in a mustard color saree and my husband looking dashing in his blue silk shirt, signed our marriage papers in a registrar office. What a day it was. It even drizzled right after the signing like gods showering blessings from the sky through the clouds. It was just the beginning of a new life and I am sure the celebration will last forever. Being a hard core love marriage, the story of how we met is pretty interesting (or may be every couple feels this way). 

Me and my husband (Raghu) shared a lot of things in common. We belonged to the same city, studied in the same school, went to the same tuition, studied in the same pre-university college and despite of all this we never met each other for more than 10 years. His primary school had become my high school but when I had joined he had shifted his base. I lost my chance of meeting him there!!! But his ex-friends had become my friends!!! During this period I decided to take mathematics tuition along with my other friends but discarded the idea at the last minute. Surprisingly, mathematics tuition was conducted at his house which was next to my school and his mom (my mother in law) was the tuition teacher.  Gosh, I lost the chance of meeting him again!!! After my high school, I joined Mahatma Gandhi Memorial College for Pre University and he was in the same college but in a different branch. Having more than 1000 students in 11^th standard (all batches included) and 80 students in a class, we hardly knew our classmates. So, the chances of knowing a batch mate were thin. The funny fact is I had initially opted for his branch finally shifting to biology. Once again I lost my chance of meeting him!!! During this period we both went to the same tuition (less than 15 students) but once again our timings were slightly different. I went in when he went out!!! So irrespective of all the positive odds, we never met each other, never shook hands or even passed a weird smile. Years rolled by, life moved on and we chose different career options and opted for different cities. 

Almost after 6 years in to our separate lives, having nothing in common (he was living in Bangalore, I was in Manipal; He was an engineer and I was a speech therapist), destiny brought us together through facebook. In FB we want to add all those familiar faces whom we have hardly spoken in real life. When I first got his friend request I immediately wanted to ignore it as I had a rule of not adding people whom I didn't know. But when I scrutinized his profile for minute details I was more than surprised. We went to the same school, same PU college, same group of friends and I started wondering if he was actually my classmate whom I had totally forgotten (may be a first bench-er!!!). But no matter how hard I tried I couldn't recall his image and hence, I sent him a message asking if he was my classmate. Well there was another Shruthi in his class and mine later, and she was the confusion creator which led to this friend request. Thanks to my father who named me the most common name in our town. There used to be at least two or three Shruthis in one class. Had it not been for this name, I would have never met my husband!!!

After clearing all doubts and wanting to plunge in to a zone of friendship, we decided to add each other. My memory (being an awesome one) did not let me down and it started pouring me with images of a lean man from the past, near my college and near my tuition. Even though he didn't recall my face (his memory is very bad) he remembered the girl who rode luna to college. It was quite embarrassing for me in those days but it seems he thought it was “cool” of me to ride a luna to college (well you need to have guts to ride a luna especially when you are in college). But this new found friendship didn't turn in to love immediately. Raghu was completely lost in his own world and I was seriously considering getting married to somebody else of my parent’s choice. During this phase, we became friends, then best friends, then best of best friends and started spending hours over phone every day sharing every tear and every smile. Amusingly, he gave me dating tips and I made him write love letter to other girls!!! Finally, when things were very serious about my marriage he even decided to create my profile in shaadi.com and took the responsibility of searching a suitable groom for me (Ah! What a great friend). 

Days passed by and with every passing second we grew closer to each other as friends. We took less interest in other men/women only to spend more time with each other. His mobile bills were shooting stars which he often complained yet, promptly giving me a call the next day. One of these days he casually said, “Maybe we should marry each other as our understanding is great and our frequencies match perfectly fine”. This casual thought lead to series of thoughts, which finally made us accept this friendship as something much more and divine. It was never “oh baby I love you so much” kind of love rather, it was a practical well thought decision. After turning our friendship in to a relationship, we actually fell in love with each other. But even at the pinnacle of love, hunger and sleep never left us. So, it was more like an arranged marriage but arranged by us. After being in a relationship for almost two years, we decided to marry each other and today, here we are living a beautiful life in our love nest and hoping to see many more enchanting years to come.

May be I am indebted forever

for having a chance to know what is love

As beautiful as it can ever get

As soothing as my heart can ever feel

It can only beat for you

saying, thank you for being in my life

thank you for loving me beyond boundaries

and thank you for making me what I am today...

I will stand beside you, holding hands

showering life with lots of smiles

I know, when you are next to me

Life could be nothing but a joyful ride

Let the whole world scream against

Let the society laugh at us if they can

but our love will bind us for eternity

as long as love will remain in the world per se...

P.S: All photos are downloaded through different sources via google except the last one!!!

Inhale and exhale... I am breathing!!!!

Where was I for the last one month? If you say solitude, I say prison. Yes, living a life without high speed internet is like living behind bars with no connection to the outer world. The writer inside me had taken a nap, and the blogger inside me was pestering to come out alive. In short, the last one month was not a bliss. I had caught some weird skin problem (thanks to Jeddah climate) and kept shuttling between India and Jeddah (Thanks to my husband's profession), I was living in a world of uncertainty. Not that things are all good now, yeah, I still do have some itching and will be travelling to Dubai this month end (Yey!!!) but thankfully, internet is back (3G, yet not high speed). But the sad part was, I missed my IndiBlogger family members.. So many posts to read (grrr internet is too slow) and comment!!!!


It is so rejuvenating to open the pages and read those posts. It feels like I am connected. Recently, when my husband's colleague's wife asked me how Jeddah was treating me and how do I cope up with no social life being inside home all day, I only smiled. I told her, my socialization is beyond boundaries. I socialize everyday with lots of people, sharing thoughts and views and educating myself. My friends are from all over the world and I get a chance to be inspired by them every single day. So Jeddah is treating me like India. However big the restrictions imposed are, I live my life peacefully communicating with people. But when the access to internet was limited, my entire socialization got restricted. It truly felt as if I was living inside four walls, eating, sleeping and reading!!! I got bored of the same routine. Then I went back to India. I got so busy there, I had no time to access internet and once again I felt lonely amid the huge crowd. I wanted to write. Something. Anything. but I wanted to write. Finally today when I am just scribbling some words, there is a smile on my face and solace in my heart. Yes, I am breathing, at last!!!


It is so strange that few years before, life was running well without mobiles, laptops, internet or 3G.. but now it feels as if we can't lead our lives without them... Let's hope internet doesn't leave our side and we continue to write and share always!!!