People often tagged me as an impatient person and to their satisfaction I find
no harm in agreeing to their credence. Yes I am impatient, so what is wrong with
it? My mom has been pestering me in the past about this reminding how I am a
girl. Thanks mom as if I didn’t know I was a girl!!! As a pampered kid that I was
I regularly demanded for things may be chocolates or a Barbie doll dress and to
my rescue, my father being a great dad never smashed this teeny tiny heart of
mine. But that wasn’t sufficient for me
as all my requests ended with a phrase of “RIGHT NOW” and poor dad unable to
bear my tantrums would leave all his chores and run to a store to get me what I wanted
as if the world would end if not otherwise. As I grew up he had realized that
feeding my RIGHT NOW attitude was absolutely wrong and he laid out a meek NO. Now at this age I presumed, as people call me,
I am an impatient person and to my horror by the time I realized this I have
already crossed the boundaries of impatience reaching a new realm of
desperation. It’s just not “I want it now” but it is “I desperately want it
right now or else I will shove your head inside your mouth”. This is the exact kind of desperation which
you may all have experienced at some point in life. May be waiting for your exam
results (especially when you for sure know either you have topped it or screwed
it, no better), or waiting for a girl’s response after you have uttered those three
magical words in haste (oh damn! What if she really says yes???), or sometimes
even waiting for that lovely biriyani cooked by your mother asking endlessly,
how long you are going to take, is it ready yet, mom I am hungry and finally
just give the food right away ok. So it is not new to us, definitely! But nobody
feels like breaking somebody’s head if the cooker takes too long to whistle, if
the desired movie doesn’t show up in the nearby theater during the release
week, looking at the watch hundred times before one hour lecture gets over (may
be most of us do that!!!), taking bath in two minutes (heights of impatience is
what I call) the list goes on and yes I am referring to myself here. I was heartbroken
when one of my ex-colleagues told me, “I pity you are a girl. Do you even
realize that you will have to wait for nine months to have a child? It doesn’t pop
out right after you conceive”. I wasn’t heartbroken to hear such a comment from a
guy but the sudden realization of waiting for nine months made me feel
suffocated. For a second I heartedly wished if actually the baby could pop out
right after conception.
What happens when a person like me gets married to a
person who needs time for everything, who iterates like a parrot “let’s do it tomorrow?”
“Let’s go there next weekend?” “How about we wait for three more days before
buying it?” “Next month shall we take a trip?”. I was mildly heartbroken when I
first fell in love with this chap knowing I would have to forcefully control
all my agitated hormones all by myself without any reinforcement but to my
surprise, my heart let out a deep sigh when the marriage dates got postponed
week after week, month after month and my this poor little heart was crumbled
not out of delaying marriage but solely because of waiting as impatience was
hovering over my body, soul and mind. After all the ups and downs, finally
winning all the battles, at last getting married, at last falling back in my
normal pace I realize that god can never stay happy with me being impatient
(May be he has sworn to teach me patience before I get pregnant). Not dad, not
friends, not even my husband but the whole damn country and this stupid
government is making me wait now. As a person, I couldn’t even wait for two
seconds but now it’s been seven months since I have been DESPERATELY waiting to
reach a deserted land of “Saudi Arabia”. Am I excited about shifting my base
there leaving my country? Yeah, I can hear my mind say this. Right now, more
than excitement it is desperation which is making me look at Saudi Arabia as the United
States of America or that one cherry in a bad tasting ice cream (yup ice creams can also taste bad especially when you don't like them in the first place). No matter how many
times I wail in utter desperation the speed of visa processing is still taking
the path of a city bus, taking stop at every possible corner. I do not much
believe in god and his magic but this time I have even bribed him to speed up
the process, no luck yet and to add on, my mom says “astrologer finds no airplane
flying over your kundli abroad. Hence, chances are very few of you leaving this
country”; sometimes mom can speak only nonsense (most of the times, I mean).
After seven months of long wait, umpteen
number of fights with husband, cursing all the government officials, repenting
the decision of shifting to Sauai Arabia, cooking all sorts of food, reading n
number of novels, taking many trips, shopping extensively (I used to hate
shopping, look what I have become) and finally deciding to start filling up the
empty spaces in my blog may be I am slowly learning to be patient. When recently
once again my husband told me it would take another two months, I simply
laughed. I don’t know if it was indeed funny or I am losing my mind out of counting seconds. But I have become pretty sure it would take another two months and
so, I would complete my nine months of waiting before stepping outside this country
(I wish I could tell my ex colleague I can wait for nine months). So when I thought
of penning down this I was exhausted thinking about the title but now I can
genuinely say I really need a Santa not to speed up the visa processing but to
make me more patient so that I can cope up with any situations in life.
See yaaa!!!
agitated harmones??? lol.. dt ws good!!! :-D vry well written..
ReplyDeleteThank you dear :)
DeleteIf you had conceived 9 months back, you could hit 2 birds with one stone :-P
ReplyDeleteDamn I missed that chance now :(
DeleteImpatience is a heirloom we all acquire as Indians. Only in varying degrees!
ReplyDeletetotally agree :)
Delete